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Monday, June 24th, 2013
1:25 am - spring cleaning, revisited.
Here's a post from March 13th 2002 wherein excitable past s5 todo-lists himself into hypothetical order and harmony. I'll just paste it here, no need to click through.

(1) purge old crap.
(2) set up the basement as a workshop.
(3) add nice things to the extra bedroom so it becomes a yoga/hippy room.
(4) lots of cleaning. scrub grubby walls. clean mold from poorly ventilated bathroom.
(5) consolidate all burning man items into easily stored bins.
(6) cancel all useless services that i'm still paying for.
(7) file paperwork, bills, and evil tax things.
(8) unsubscribe from mailing lists that i no longer post to or care about.
(9) archive email. inbox size right now = 60,453 messages
(10) pull up weeds in the garden.
(11) sell useless things, like the stereo rack and the two synth racks.

A few things have changed since then: The bathroom was remodeled and is no longer poorly ventilated or moldy; I capitalize properly; the other person implied by the existence of such a list is no longer in my life; inbox size is now 32,479 (progress!); I no longer go to Burning Man.

Otherwise, the list for June 24th 2013 is no different than the list for March 13th 2002. Evil tax things, weeds, unwanted objects, well-meaning plans for yoga and revitalized spare rooms/basements/workshops.

It's time for a new list.

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Wednesday, October 8th, 2008
1:48 am - Sounding the alarm
After months of being way behind in the polls, prop 8 in California (the ballot prop to ban gay marriage) is now just barely ahead:


Here's what happened: The Mormons got involved in fundraising, and the gay community got complacent from the good poll numbers all summer. So the homophobes are essentially buying public opinion by airing unanswered ads on TV, pushing all sorts of scary crap about how gay marriage means little children will be shown buttsex demos in public school, or whatever it is they're saying.

So in case it wasn't completely obvious, now would be a good time to donate to the No on 8 side. Even if you don't live in California. This is about human rights and dignity, which extends beyond California's borders.

What I want to know is, since when do the Mormons have any moral authority to get involved in a debate about marriage? They need to pack that shit up and take it back to Utah with their spooky underpants and child brides.

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Monday, January 7th, 2008
3:35 pm
Olivia and I just had a disagreement about cannibalism. I said that I'd be completely fine with her eating my body, if I died of natural causes (in other words, she can't kill me to eat me), while she finds this completely creepy and upsetting. Her line of reasoning is that I'm implicitly expressing a desire to eat her dead body, and by offering up mine, I would be hoping she'd respond with "and you can eat mine too!". But I don't actually want to eat her; I don't want to eat any kind of meat, human or otherwise. I just wanted her to know that she had my blessing to eat me.

I'm not sure if this says anything deeper about our relationship, other than sometimes maybe it's easier to just say "I love you" than "I would let you eat my dead body if you wanted to".

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Monday, December 17th, 2007
10:59 pm - wtf, they killed their cat
I can't believe they killed Wessy for no reason. It makes me really sick. I thought he was going to say "she died because she got run over", but no, they had her put down because no one wanted to keep her. Furthermore, I can't believe there was a vet willing to do it. It was one of those situations where if I wasn't at someone else's house in someone else's country with no way to get back to my hotel, that I would have spat on their face and left. Fuck you for killing that sweet cat out of sheer laziness.

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Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007
5:23 pm - Freedom Hating Pharmofascists
Our Europe trip is coming to an end, and it seems that I picked up a cold in Italy. (And before I go much further, it's been a really fantastic trip, but that's not why I'm posting this. For excited and interesting descriptions of places we've been, read Olivia's LJ and Flickr. For tedious rants and whinges, keep reading.)

DO NOT READ: Extremely whiny post about having a cold while traveling followsCollapse )

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Monday, September 3rd, 2007
9:28 pm - Sometimes I get outraged and write email
I just found out tonight the theme for 2008's Burning Man is going to be "American Dream". I truly can't think of anything worse, and I feel sick and upset just thinking about it.

The Burning Man org came up with some fluffy explanation for why it's such a grand idea, and I think there's no way to spin it. It's a mistake, the worst mistake they've ever made.


Anyway, I sent an outraged email to complaints@burningman.com, which I'm sure will have no effect beyond making me feel briefly self-satisfied. If the theme offends you, feel free to email them too. If you don't care about Burning Man or have something snarky to tell me about the event, I'm not interested. I'm pro-Burning Man, but anti-Nationalism.


Subject: 2008: Nationalism Man
Date: September 3, 2007 9:33:30 PM PDT
To: complaints@burningman.com

It's going to be Nationalism Man. It's going to be a year of flag waving vs. snarky Adbusters wannabes. It's going to be people arguing all week about whether America sucks or rules, as if we're all trapped in the meatspace version of an internet message board flame war.

It's going to alienate international burners who aren't even from here and have no need to consider their lives in the context of "America". It's going to upset American burners who are freaked out about our standing in the world. It's going to annoy people who don't want to be campaigned at. It's going to bring fights, more arsons, and bad vibes. It's going to look like a Nationalist rally in the desert, with flags and confederate flags and protests and counter protests. It's going to bring "the default world" into the event where it doesn't belong.

I'm saying this as a defender of Burning Man, as someone who always believes the org has their heart in the right place, and always wants to do what's best. I read the blurb and I get what the org is going for, but you picked the most loaded phrase possible. You could have named it anything else - "Unity" or "Nations of the World" or "Ideals". Instead you brought all other nations under the umbrella of America, showing the world that even the counter-culture has their own version of American dominance and manifest destiny. It's as offensive as saying the UN is America too, as if we're extending our collective middle finger to the world in a grand display of arrogance.

This is the first theme that truly divides people. While there have been themes in the past that people disagree with or can't get on board with or believe reflects some hidden conspiratorial agenda, this is the first theme that is so loaded that it can't help but divide people. And shouldn't the theme be about uniting people behind a common purpose? Or at least giving them room to ignore the theme or build upon it in some unique way?

I'm sure you will disregard this, feeling proud that you've pushed some buttons, but I implore you to rethink the theme, and replace it with something else.

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Sunday, July 22nd, 2007
3:17 am - Just finished
After one solid day devoted to reading the final Harry Potter and taking breaks for distractions such as sleeping and food, I have finished. Which means I can go back to using the internet! I was even terrified to use Wikipedia, expecting every entry to be replaced with plot spoilers.

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Friday, June 15th, 2007
10:20 pm
What is with our cat. Two years ago she learned how to open the door. Today she learned how to open the window, and set off the alarm twice in one day. Her tail is still a bit puffy, so I'm not expecting that she'll try it again.

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Sunday, March 18th, 2007
11:28 pm - hello I like cartoons

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Monday, January 1st, 2007
5:40 pm - SPRING CLEANING!!!111
Spring cleaning on New Years day = Best use of New Years day ever.

Highly Recommended A+++++

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Monday, December 25th, 2006
1:29 am - Cuddles, the Christmas Cactus.
Well I just downloaded The Star Wars Holiday Special off Bittorrent, and it truly is the worst movie / spectacle I've ever seen in my life. I completely support George Lucas's efforts to eliminate every copy of it from existence, and I'd even go as far as saying that I'm now slightly sympathetic to the anti-Bittorrent argument. Any technology that could allow The Star Wars Holiday Special to attain immortality should be regarded with extreme caution.

It starts off with twenty uncut and unsubtitled minutes of Chewbacca's family, puttering about the house for the Wookie holiday, groaning incoherently over a backdrop of saccharinely touching music. Apparently, Chewie might not make it home in time to celebrate, even with Han Solo's expert flying. The disappointed Wookie son ("Lumpy") amuses himself by irritating his grandfather and, later, watches a miniature circus while gyrating about with his hands off-camera. Although the special is G-rated, we can only assume the worst.

From here, we fast forwarded a bit, and suddenly stormtroopers have taken the family hostage for reasons that are undisclosed to us. A few more clicks of the scan button in Quicktime, and we're treated to an out-of-place musical number by Jefferson Starship, followed by a visit to the bar in Mos Eisley. Lucky for us, the faithful viewers, Bea Arthur of Golden Girls is the sassy bartender of the night, who sings us another musical number, backed by The Residents-like Mos Eisley band playing a slow jam version of the only song they seem to know. Drinking and revelry take place, and seemingly no crime under Bea Arthur's iron fist.

More fast forwarding, and the movie now appears to be a low budget Hanna-Barbera cartoon, which I'm assuming was done to save money on special effects. In fact, the only special effects seem to have been clipped from the original Star Wars movie. The cartoon portion of the movie ends, and we're back to the Wookie family under siege.

Han Solo then rescues the family, Luke Skywalker and C3PO escape their unfortunate but eminently escapable trap, and Chewie makes it home in time for the holidays. Huzzah! Princess Leia says some words of wisdom, then presents Chewie with some kind of honor as the Triumph of the Will music from the original Star Wars plays in the background. As the story ends, we're treated to a montage of unrelated scenes from the original movie. Then, credits, followed by an advertisement commanding parents to buy the action figures.

All in all, it sucked.

Since the holiday season started, we've been listening to SomaFM's Xmas in Frisko just about non-stop. While continuous, piped-in Christmas music generally drives me crazy, they serve up a pretty good blend of old-timey xmas music with plenty of holiday weirdness mixed in. Like Twisted Sister singing "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" over "We're Not Going To Take It", or the occasional carol with the lyrics rewritten to celebrate gun ownership. I don't know how to describe it. Just listen to it for a few hours if you get the itch for some holiday fucking cheer.

My only objection are the occasional songs where the songwriter has obviously tried to invent their own Christmas mythology but failed miserably. It was as if they thought "yes! Tex The Cowboy Santa is totally going to be the next Rudolf The Red Nose Reindeer!" Uh, no, he's not. Tex is going to fade away into instant obscurity.

Lately we've been running into people on the street again, like unicornflower just last night. Maybe it's because "Jesus Is The Reason For The Season", but somehow we arrived at the topic of religion. Olivia and I and Marc are all atheists but he was defending the idea of progressive religions, while Olivia and I were arguing that faith is inherently regressive.

Well whichever it is, Happy Jesus's Birthday, everyone!

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Saturday, December 23rd, 2006
1:51 am - I don't believe in conspiracy theories, but
What happens to the millions of Free Art Tests collected every year by the Art Instruction Schools? Are they mostly filed away or discarded, providing little more than a brief moment of amusement for late night TV addicts?

Or is there something more sinister at work? After all, what do we really know about this "Art Instruction Schools"? How have they managed to survive for so many decades without any visible contribution to the world of art (or civilization itself)?

What if this "AIS" isn't actually an art school, but, instead, is a front for a government program that profiles all Americans through these "Free Art Tests", and, depending on their profile, either kidnaps suspected enemies of the state and prosecutes them in secret tribunals, or trains them as CIA operatives like Matt Damon in the Bourne Identity?

If this were really happening, wouldn't you want to know?

Thousands of children and adults go missing every year, many of them with artistic talent. If they were being kidnapped by our government and sent away with black hoods over their heads to be locked away in the basement of this shadowy pentagonal building:

wouldn't you want to know?

I just ordered my art test, and in two weeks, I'll know for certain.

And speaking of the holidays, it looks like we're really going to make the UnTurkey after all. We have several pounds of gluten powder, and thanks to a trip to the Asian grocery in Daly City (where fake animals live side by side with the real animals), we now have fake skin! Pics will be posted at unturkey.org as we attempt to assemble this multi-day cooking concoction. Hopefully it will be yummy. And if it's not, we can always unthaw the Crispy Chicken Mac Nugget from the same freezer case as our xmas feast.

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Saturday, September 14th, 2002
3:39 am
"You are stupid and evil and
do not know you are stupid
and evil."

-- Gene Ray, timecube.com.

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Monday, August 5th, 2002
4:54 pm
olivia asked me yesterday if gweeds is my new internet girlfriend.

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Tuesday, July 30th, 2002
4:42 pm

i just ordered 275 yards of velcro.

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Thursday, July 18th, 2002
11:47 pm
weeb sent this to me, but i think everyone else should read it too.

true stories from a porn video clerk

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Monday, July 15th, 2002
9:36 pm - cleansing, day 1
today was pretty uneventful. we started the day with a spirulina smoothie, and some farina. later on, austin stopped by. he came along with us to the gay home depot (ie. cliff's variety) where we purchased a thingie for steaming vegetables.

anyway the worst part of all this are the herbs. they're so nasty. but i'll power through them.

it's only day 1, so i've experienced minimal cravings. even though i haven't had any coffee, no headaches today. olivia wasn't as lucky. she's in bed now with a headache. :(

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3:09 am - this is about to get yucky.
starting tomorrow, olivia and i will begin detoxing, cleansing, fasting, all of that. and this here livejournal is going to be my fasting diary. that's right, every day, an update about what's going into and what's coming out of my body. do you think you can handle that? i bet you can't. well, lucky for you, i tend to be squeemish about even my own body, so i'll probably find some catchy euphemisms for all the nasty details. woo hoo!

so what's the purpose of all of this? quite simply, to clean out the inside of my body. sure, i've been vegetarian for almost 10 years, but stuff still accumulates. this leads to sickness, general slugishness, and other bad things. here's a good article about fasting, in case you're mildly curious.

for those of you who've done it before, i'm sure you'll find it interesting, amusing, or pathetic as i stumble through my first fast.

here's the (rough) plan, which will be refined as we go along.

one week of simple, plain, boring whole foods.
one week of juice fasting.
one week of simple, plain, boring whole foods.

in reality, it will be more like a curve, with gradual transitions between the steps, and taking care to come out of the fast gently. also to be consumed: lots of fiber and various other cleansing herbs. i'll detail these as i post updates.

half of me is excited to be making a major lifestyle change, and the other half is filled with dread and self-doubt. we'll see which side of me wins! place your bets now.

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Sunday, July 7th, 2002
4:03 am - porn
i want this camera:


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Friday, June 28th, 2002
1:12 am - INS
so, yesterday olivia and i received a certified mail delivery notice, addressed from our immigration attorney. i showed it to her, and we both agreed it was either good news (she gets to live here) or it's bad news (she has to pack everything leave the country immediately).

and it was good news! the INS officially accepted her green card application, which means she is now legal to live here, without fear of deportation. yay!

now the next flaming hoop of firey death to jump through involves the green card interview, wherein we are required to recount our personal bathroom habits to suspicious government interviewers.

in other news, my mom and her boyfriend are visiting for the next week and a half. stress!

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