s5

Sounding the alarm

2008-10-08T08:53:39Z

After months of being way behind in the polls, prop 8 in California (the ballot prop to ban gay marriage) is now just barely ahead:

http://noonprop8.com/news/articles?id=0182

Here's what happened: The Mormons got involved in fundraising, and the gay community got complacent from the good poll numbers all summer. So the homophobes are essentially buying public opinion by airing unanswered ads on TV, pushing all sorts of scary crap about how gay marriage means little children will be shown buttsex demos in public school, or whatever it is they're saying.

So in case it wasn't completely obvious, now would be a good time to donate to the No on 8 side. Even if you don't live in California. This is about human rights and dignity, which extends beyond California's borders.

What I want to know is, since when do the Mormons have any moral authority to get involved in a debate about marriage? They need to pack that shit up and take it back to Utah with their spooky underpants and child brides.

s5 @ 2008-01-07T15:35:00

2008-01-07T23:48:40Z

Olivia and I just had a disagreement about cannibalism. I said that I'd be completely fine with her eating my body, if I died of natural causes (in other words, she can't kill me to eat me), while she finds this completely creepy and upsetting. Her line of reasoning is that I'm implicitly expressing a desire to eat her dead body, and by offering up mine, I would be hoping she'd respond with "and you can eat mine too!". But I don't actually want to eat her; I don't want to eat any kind of meat, human or otherwise. I just wanted her to know that she had my blessing to eat me.

I'm not sure if this says anything deeper about our relationship, other than sometimes maybe it's easier to just say "I love you" than "I would let you eat my dead body if you wanted to".

wtf, they killed their cat

2007-12-17T10:04:30Z

I can't believe they killed Wessy for no reason. It makes me really sick. I thought he was going to say "she died because she got run over", but no, they had her put down because no one wanted to keep her. Furthermore, I can't believe there was a vet willing to do it. It was one of those situations where if I wasn't at someone else's house in someone else's country with no way to get back to my hotel, that I would have spat on their face and left. Fuck you for killing that sweet cat out of sheer laziness.

Freedom Hating Pharmofascists

2007-10-03T17:30:46Z

Our Europe trip is coming to an end, and it seems that I picked up a cold in Italy. (And before I go much further, it's been a really fantastic trip, but that's not why I'm posting this. For excited and interesting descriptions of places we've been, read Olivia's LJ and Flickr. For tedious rants and whinges, keep reading.)

Anyway, we're back in London right now for another day before returning to San Francisco, and of everything I love about Europe and the UK, the one thing I cannot hang with is how drug stores are run.

In the US, you simply walk into a Walgreens (or really any food market or convenience store) with the sniffles, choose the brand that best matches your symptoms, drug preferences, receptivity to package design / marketing, pay the money, and walk out the door.

Elsewhere, just about everything benign is behind the counter at a specialized pharmacy or chemist, usually open during bankers hours and Saturdays, and requires a conversation with gatekeeper of said products, who will choose on your behalf. And by "benign" I mean even products like Nyquil (in the UK "Night Nurse") and Pepto Bismo. In Italy, I had to negotiate in broken english and italian for menthol lozenges.

About an hour ago in London, obtaining simple cold medicine required dealings with two separate people. The first person kept handing me packages containing pseudoephidrine, even after I asked for something without (I want to nap, not reorganize my suitcase alphabetically), and was extremely reluctant to hand me the box so I could read the labels. After the second box, she lost interest in helping me. The other person (at the register) started asking me all sorts of questions that I felt were either irrelevant or obvious, like "are these for you?" and "are you intending to take these?". When I expressed surprise and confusion at the question, she repeated herself slowly and with irritation, in that way you talk if you were annoyed with someone who doesn't speak the same language as you. ("Yo Speako Anglaze?")

It turned out that she was asking because I had purchased two products that do similar things. In this case, they were nasal spray and cold medicine. Apparently, that requires her to tell me that I shouldn't buy them both.

Olivia informs me that this is the same in New Zealand, and she found the entire interaction to be amusing. Personally I found the questions confusing, as I'm used to picking up whatever I need and either trying them to see what works, or keeping something extra on hand in case I run out or need to try something else.

Her view was that their way of doing things is nice, since it puts the dispensary in the role of working with you and caring whether or not you make yourself sicker. Also she says that Americans are used to a dizzying array of choices and consequently develop exacting requirements that need to be catered to, while in this model, you explain your symptoms, and you're handed something that will probably work in most cases.

I agree that in America, we have way too many product options (I refuse to refer to product options as "choice") and that individuals often have no way to resolve them all or be informed enough. American retardedness with health insurance is the best example, probably in the whole of civilization, of how a confusing and infinitely expansive array of options can be bad to the point of killing people.

But on balance, I think the US approach is fine and dandy for over the counter sniffles and upset tummy medicines. There's really no lasting harm you can do, and sometimes you need the overkill of taking two different products. And having the gatekeeper who chooses the boxes for you but is too busy to actually talk to you or even let you read the label doesn't help inform you, and may do more harm than good for people with specific health needs or allergies. Who knows, maybe if I lived here, they would have that on file, and the CCTV camera would scan my face and send electric shocks to my fingertips if I accidently picked up a product that conflicted with my medical records.

In the end, after enduring dirty looks and intrusive interrogation, I obtained my cold medicine, and if all goes well, I can go back to feeling good about social democracy. Until then, all I want is the soothing warm touch of the invisible hand of the free market.

Sometimes I get outraged and write email

2007-09-04T04:36:11Z

I just found out tonight the theme for 2008's Burning Man is going to be "American Dream". I truly can't think of anything worse, and I feel sick and upset just thinking about it.

The Burning Man org came up with some fluffy explanation for why it's such a grand idea, and I think there's no way to spin it. It's a mistake, the worst mistake they've ever made.

http://burningman.com/art_of_burningman/bm08_theme.html

Anyway, I sent an outraged email to complaints@burningman.com, which I'm sure will have no effect beyond making me feel briefly self-satisfied. If the theme offends you, feel free to email them too. If you don't care about Burning Man or have something snarky to tell me about the event, I'm not interested. I'm pro-Burning Man, but anti-Nationalism.

---

Subject: 2008: Nationalism Man
Date: September 3, 2007 9:33:30 PM PDT
To: complaints@burningman.com

It's going to be Nationalism Man. It's going to be a year of flag waving vs. snarky Adbusters wannabes. It's going to be people arguing all week about whether America sucks or rules, as if we're all trapped in the meatspace version of an internet message board flame war.

It's going to alienate international burners who aren't even from here and have no need to consider their lives in the context of "America". It's going to upset American burners who are freaked out about our standing in the world. It's going to annoy people who don't want to be campaigned at. It's going to bring fights, more arsons, and bad vibes. It's going to look like a Nationalist rally in the desert, with flags and confederate flags and protests and counter protests. It's going to bring "the default world" into the event where it doesn't belong.

I'm saying this as a defender of Burning Man, as someone who always believes the org has their heart in the right place, and always wants to do what's best. I read the blurb and I get what the org is going for, but you picked the most loaded phrase possible. You could have named it anything else - "Unity" or "Nations of the World" or "Ideals". Instead you brought all other nations under the umbrella of America, showing the world that even the counter-culture has their own version of American dominance and manifest destiny. It's as offensive as saying the UN is America too, as if we're extending our collective middle finger to the world in a grand display of arrogance.

This is the first theme that truly divides people. While there have been themes in the past that people disagree with or can't get on board with or believe reflects some hidden conspiratorial agenda, this is the first theme that is so loaded that it can't help but divide people. And shouldn't the theme be about uniting people behind a common purpose? Or at least giving them room to ignore the theme or build upon it in some unique way?

I'm sure you will disregard this, feeling proud that you've pushed some buttons, but I implore you to rethink the theme, and replace it with something else.

Just finished

2007-07-22T10:21:23Z

After one solid day devoted to reading the final Harry Potter and taking breaks for distractions such as sleeping and food, I have finished. Which means I can go back to using the internet! I was even terrified to use Wikipedia, expecting every entry to be replaced with plot spoilers.

s5 @ 2007-06-15T22:20:00

2007-06-16T05:23:36Z

What is with our cat. Two years ago she learned how to open the door. Today she learned how to open the window, and set off the alarm twice in one day. Her tail is still a bit puffy, so I'm not expecting that she'll try it again.

hello I like cartoons

2007-03-19T06:33:02Z

SPRING CLEANING!!!111

2007-01-02T01:40:28Z

Spring cleaning on New Years day = Best use of New Years day ever.

Highly Recommended A+++++

Cuddles, the Christmas Cactus.

2006-12-25T09:29:06Z

Well I just downloaded The Star Wars Holiday Special off Bittorrent, and it truly is the worst movie / spectacle I've ever seen in my life. I completely support George Lucas's efforts to eliminate every copy of it from existence, and I'd even go as far as saying that I'm now slightly sympathetic to the anti-Bittorrent argument. Any technology that could allow The Star Wars Holiday Special to attain immortality should be regarded with extreme caution.

It starts off with twenty uncut and unsubtitled minutes of Chewbacca's family, puttering about the house for the Wookie holiday, groaning incoherently over a backdrop of saccharinely touching music. Apparently, Chewie might not make it home in time to celebrate, even with Han Solo's expert flying. The disappointed Wookie son ("Lumpy") amuses himself by irritating his grandfather and, later, watches a miniature circus while gyrating about with his hands off-camera. Although the special is G-rated, we can only assume the worst.

From here, we fast forwarded a bit, and suddenly stormtroopers have taken the family hostage for reasons that are undisclosed to us. A few more clicks of the scan button in Quicktime, and we're treated to an out-of-place musical number by Jefferson Starship, followed by a visit to the bar in Mos Eisley. Lucky for us, the faithful viewers, Bea Arthur of Golden Girls is the sassy bartender of the night, who sings us another musical number, backed by The Residents-like Mos Eisley band playing a slow jam version of the only song they seem to know. Drinking and revelry take place, and seemingly no crime under Bea Arthur's iron fist.

More fast forwarding, and the movie now appears to be a low budget Hanna-Barbera cartoon, which I'm assuming was done to save money on special effects. In fact, the only special effects seem to have been clipped from the original Star Wars movie. The cartoon portion of the movie ends, and we're back to the Wookie family under siege.

Han Solo then rescues the family, Luke Skywalker and C3PO escape their unfortunate but eminently escapable trap, and Chewie makes it home in time for the holidays. Huzzah! Princess Leia says some words of wisdom, then presents Chewie with some kind of honor as the Triumph of the Will music from the original Star Wars plays in the background. As the story ends, we're treated to a montage of unrelated scenes from the original movie. Then, credits, followed by an advertisement commanding parents to buy the action figures.

All in all, it sucked.

Since the holiday season started, we've been listening to SomaFM's Xmas in Frisko just about non-stop. While continuous, piped-in Christmas music generally drives me crazy, they serve up a pretty good blend of old-timey xmas music with plenty of holiday weirdness mixed in. Like Twisted Sister singing "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" over "We're Not Going To Take It", or the occasional carol with the lyrics rewritten to celebrate gun ownership. I don't know how to describe it. Just listen to it for a few hours if you get the itch for some holiday fucking cheer.

My only objection are the occasional songs where the songwriter has obviously tried to invent their own Christmas mythology but failed miserably. It was as if they thought "yes! Tex The Cowboy Santa is totally going to be the next Rudolf The Red Nose Reindeer!" Uh, no, he's not. Tex is going to fade away into instant obscurity.

Lately we've been running into people on the street again, like unicornflower just last night. Maybe it's because "Jesus Is The Reason For The Season", but somehow we arrived at the topic of religion. Olivia and I and Marc are all atheists but he was defending the idea of progressive religions, while Olivia and I were arguing that faith is inherently regressive.

Well whichever it is, Happy Jesus's Birthday, everyone!

I don't believe in conspiracy theories, but

2006-12-23T09:51:20Z

What happens to the millions of Free Art Tests collected every year by the Art Instruction Schools? Are they mostly filed away or discarded, providing little more than a brief moment of amusement for late night TV addicts?

Or is there something more sinister at work? After all, what do we really know about this "Art Instruction Schools"? How have they managed to survive for so many decades without any visible contribution to the world of art (or civilization itself)?

What if this "AIS" isn't actually an art school, but, instead, is a front for a government program that profiles all Americans through these "Free Art Tests", and, depending on their profile, either kidnaps suspected enemies of the state and prosecutes them in secret tribunals, or trains them as CIA operatives like Matt Damon in the Bourne Identity?

If this were really happening, wouldn't you want to know?

Thousands of children and adults go missing every year, many of them with artistic talent. If they were being kidnapped by our government and sent away with black hoods over their heads to be locked away in the basement of this shadowy pentagonal building:

wouldn't you want to know?

I just ordered my art test, and in two weeks, I'll know for certain.

And speaking of the holidays, it looks like we're really going to make the UnTurkey after all. We have several pounds of gluten powder, and thanks to a trip to the Asian grocery in Daly City (where fake animals live side by side with the real animals), we now have fake skin! Pics will be posted at unturkey.org as we attempt to assemble this multi-day cooking concoction. Hopefully it will be yummy. And if it's not, we can always unthaw the Crispy Chicken Mac Nugget from the same freezer case as our xmas feast.

s5 @ 2002-09-14T03:39:00

2002-09-14T10:39:27Z

"You are stupid and evil and
do not know you are stupid
and evil."

-- Gene Ray, timecube.com.

s5 @ 2002-08-05T16:54:00

2002-08-05T23:54:53Z

olivia asked me yesterday if gweeds is my new internet girlfriend.

s5 @ 2002-07-30T16:42:00

2002-07-30T23:44:16Z

hi.

i just ordered 275 yards of velcro.

s5 @ 2002-07-18T23:47:00

2002-07-19T06:48:09Z

weeb sent this to me, but i think everyone else should read it too.

true stories from a porn video clerk

cleansing, day 1

2002-07-16T05:18:09Z

today was pretty uneventful. we started the day with a spirulina smoothie, and some farina. later on, austin stopped by. he came along with us to the gay home depot (ie. cliff's variety) where we purchased a thingie for steaming vegetables.

anyway the worst part of all this are the herbs. they're so nasty. but i'll power through them.

it's only day 1, so i've experienced minimal cravings. even though i haven't had any coffee, no headaches today. olivia wasn't as lucky. she's in bed now with a headache. :(

this is about to get yucky.

2002-07-15T10:26:03Z

starting tomorrow, olivia and i will begin detoxing, cleansing, fasting, all of that. and this here livejournal is going to be my fasting diary. that's right, every day, an update about what's going into and what's coming out of my body. do you think you can handle that? i bet you can't. well, lucky for you, i tend to be squeemish about even my own body, so i'll probably find some catchy euphemisms for all the nasty details. woo hoo!

so what's the purpose of all of this? quite simply, to clean out the inside of my body. sure, i've been vegetarian for almost 10 years, but stuff still accumulates. this leads to sickness, general slugishness, and other bad things. here's a good article about fasting, in case you're mildly curious.

for those of you who've done it before, i'm sure you'll find it interesting, amusing, or pathetic as i stumble through my first fast.

here's the (rough) plan, which will be refined as we go along.

one week of simple, plain, boring whole foods.
one week of juice fasting.
one week of simple, plain, boring whole foods.

in reality, it will be more like a curve, with gradual transitions between the steps, and taking care to come out of the fast gently. also to be consumed: lots of fiber and various other cleansing herbs. i'll detail these as i post updates.

half of me is excited to be making a major lifestyle change, and the other half is filled with dread and self-doubt. we'll see which side of me wins! place your bets now.

porn

2002-07-07T11:03:44Z

i want this camera:

http://www.steves-digicams.com/2002_reviews/nikon_d100.html

INS

2002-06-28T08:24:05Z

so, yesterday olivia and i received a certified mail delivery notice, addressed from our immigration attorney. i showed it to her, and we both agreed it was either good news (she gets to live here) or it's bad news (she has to pack everything leave the country immediately).

and it was good news! the INS officially accepted her green card application, which means she is now legal to live here, without fear of deportation. yay!

now the next flaming hoop of firey death to jump through involves the green card interview, wherein we are required to recount our personal bathroom habits to suspicious government interviewers.

in other news, my mom and her boyfriend are visiting for the next week and a half. stress!

i did something completely out of character yesterday.

2002-06-18T22:33:43Z

i applied for a job.

it started when austin passed me the link from craig's list. and it turns out that it's the same place molly just started working at.

i want to work there so badly, i can taste it. it's an internet job, but it's a non-profit organization. i would get to work at home (for the most part) on a project that i strongly believe in. i don't really want to say what it is yet, though, because i don't want to jinx it.

so, cross your fingers for me, and share my pain as i hit the "check new mail" button every 10 seconds.

so

2002-06-18T12:40:43Z

i just relaunched my website! at long last!

here's the blurb:

steve.org is the serialized mini-drama of four lovable animals and their crazy misadventures in an unforgiving world. please check back often for new issues as they're written!

s5 @ 2002-06-17T00:35:00

2002-06-17T07:36:43Z

i don't understand mcsweeney's. i feel like there might be writing there, but i can't find it. i keep trying, though. can anyone help?

s5 @ 2002-06-04T23:09:00

2002-06-05T06:12:37Z

i started posting here now, too:

http://suicidegirls.com/members/s5/

s5 @ 2002-05-17T22:34:00

2002-05-18T06:35:03Z

germany votes to add animal rights into their constitution:

http://www.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/europe/05/17/germany.animals/index.html

s5 @ 2002-05-07T12:29:00

2002-05-08T20:26:19Z

placebo sugar pills are more effective at curing depression than anti-depressants, according to a recent study. check it out:

http://www.iht.com/articles/57010.html